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Things that happen only in films

Cameo-Screen1.jpgI came across a nice little list of Film Clichés, i.e. things that only ever happen in films and not in real life. It's an odd list because there's a lot of them that just aren't true or not funny, but there are a couple of gems in there. For example:

When a couple is in bed, the sheets cover the woman's chest but leave the man's chest exposed. When the woman gets out of bed, she covers herself with the sheet, as if she doesn't want the man she just had sex with to see her naked.

That has to be a classic, it always amazes me that beds always have two sheets in the films, one for the lady to drag off with her on her way to the bathroom, and one to remain lying over the man as he remains in bed. On the subject of sex in films, they always seem to miss out the messier side of it all!

The list isn't about sex scenes though and brings up some other very interesting observations.

A witness who is in a hospital is only kidnapped/killed if there's a police officer guarding the room...
...Actors will whip off their glasses to emphasize a point...
...Scientists tend to be nerdy, socially inept individuals, usually clad in lab coats and safety spectacles, and who always behave in an amoral, atheistic manner...
...Computers are all compatible, with almost instantaneous download, file loading and processing. This effect, commonly referred to as Hollywood OS, is prevalent is most films which feature, but not revolve around, computers...
...The first victims of the disaster include a young couple, and usually when they're having sex...
...No one believes the protagonists until it is too late...
...Pets never die. Somebody may die while trying to rescue them, though...
...Hookers are always nice and sanitary people...
...The villain will kill henchmen if they fail a task or talk back to them, just to prove he is evil.

The list goes on for various different types of films in Wikipedia's lists of clichés from general movies, horror movies and science fiction movies. There's also an interesting site dedicated to Movie Clichés which is a bit better than some of those lists.

What film clichés really annoy you? Mine is the unreal portrayal of the human body and people engaged in sex, not because I necessarily want to see it all onscreen, just because it's so damn unreal! Then there's the mastermind revealing his plot details to the hero...and the whipping off the glasses one, geez, anyone watched CSI: Miami? You get the glasses whipping off and a punchline with Horatio on every episode intro! Actually the more I think about it the more I realise how many there actually are...the way male and female characters always have to kiss and get together...

Okay, I'm going to stop now...what clichés annoy you? Or which do you love?




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Comments

Another interesting article!

Anywho, this is more about Philippine cinema more than anything else, and it's the constant screaming and catfights between the female leads. You will see hair being pulled, a lot of eye scratching, a crowd forming around them as if chanting who they favor to win and this is just almost always in a Philippine drama film, I have never seen one that doesnt have it. Dont get me wrong, there are great Filipino movies but this cliche of always having to have your eyes being scratched out is just too much! Sure it could happen in real life but what are the chances?

I agree about pets always being saved in every disaster film, my favortie being Dante's Peak (just love that dog!) I was laughing when computers are mentioned about downloading, I remember 2 films in particular, "The Net" and "Clear and Present Danger" - I have never been so excited about waiting for some file to download! LOL

The 'compatible computers' one is the one that annoys me. We live in a world where arguably the 2 most common operating system companies (Apple and Microsoft) struggle to talk to each other...yet in Independence Day...Jeff Goldblum manages to write a virus that brings down an alien computer system network....over wi-fi no less!

Richard Roeper has a book out called "Ten Sure Signs a Movie Character is Doomed, and Other Surprising Movie Lists" - he has a long list of these cliches. Of course I can't remember any of them right now, off hand. But it is a good book. Check it out for more cliches of which you speak.

- Drewbacca
Moviepatron.com


Mine would have to be when the principal character has been put through hell by some villan. They've nearly been killed, their family has been threatened or nearly killed, but when they finally get their hands on a gun instead of blasting the villan to kingdom come they chicken out.The villan then gets to carry on with their plan. Jeez I would be showing no mercy.

"I know this system, it's Unix". And there explains why Jurassic Park fell apart. Not because it was Unix but a 7 year old girl professed to know what the hell Unix was.

Car jumps, always landing perfectly with not enough damage to the car that would make it anywhere near trashed, as it would be.

Richard says, "What film clichés really annoy you? Mine is the unreal portrayal of the human body and people engaged in sex, not because I necessarily want to see it all onscreen, just because it's so damn unreal!"

This just got me thinking and to add to it, what about in some movies, after being intimate, and then the following morning, they still kiss passionately??? YUCK! I remember after having seen "America's Sweethearts" (I think!) Cusack and Roberts didnt do this at all, prolly alluding to the reality of the morning breath! LOLOLOL

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