Things that happen only in films
I came across a nice little list of Film Clichés, i.e. things that only ever happen in films and not in real life. It's an odd list because there's a lot of them that just aren't true or not funny, but there are a couple of gems in there. For example:
When a couple is in bed, the sheets cover the woman's chest but leave the man's chest exposed. When the woman gets out of bed, she covers herself with the sheet, as if she doesn't want the man she just had sex with to see her naked.
That has to be a classic, it always amazes me that beds always have two sheets in the films, one for the lady to drag off with her on her way to the bathroom, and one to remain lying over the man as he remains in bed. On the subject of sex in films, they always seem to miss out the messier side of it all!
The list isn't about sex scenes though and brings up some other very interesting observations.
A witness who is in a hospital is only kidnapped/killed if there's a police officer guarding the room...
...Actors will whip off their glasses to emphasize a point...
...Scientists tend to be nerdy, socially inept individuals, usually clad in lab coats and safety spectacles, and who always behave in an amoral, atheistic manner...
...Computers are all compatible, with almost instantaneous download, file loading and processing. This effect, commonly referred to as Hollywood OS, is prevalent is most films which feature, but not revolve around, computers...
...The first victims of the disaster include a young couple, and usually when they're having sex...
...No one believes the protagonists until it is too late...
...Pets never die. Somebody may die while trying to rescue them, though...
...Hookers are always nice and sanitary people...
...The villain will kill henchmen if they fail a task or talk back to them, just to prove he is evil.
The list goes on for various different types of films in Wikipedia's lists of clichés from general movies, horror movies and science fiction movies. There's also an interesting site dedicated to Movie Clichés which is a bit better than some of those lists.
What film clichés really annoy you? Mine is the unreal portrayal of the human body and people engaged in sex, not because I necessarily want to see it all onscreen, just because it's so damn unreal! Then there's the mastermind revealing his plot details to the hero...and the whipping off the glasses one, geez, anyone watched CSI: Miami? You get the glasses whipping off and a punchline with Horatio on every episode intro! Actually the more I think about it the more I realise how many there actually are...the way male and female characters always have to kiss and get together...
Okay, I'm going to stop now...what clichés annoy you? Or which do you love?
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