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UK Cabinet: The Film - Who would you cast?

TheCabinet.jpgThe UK elections have happened, we've had days of politics and no new government, but just the other day we saw the Conservatives and Liberals form a coalition and take power. The first thing they needed to do was to elect their cabinet. What's a cabinet? Well it's the list of major, decision making roles that have key politicians directly responsible for running some part of the country.

While I was thinking of the cabinet selections and watching the news, I wondered about the actors that have entered politics, and then it struck me, the next feature, what characters from films would be the best, or the worst, selections for the cabinet positions?

I've listed some key roles below, from Prime Minister, to the person in charge of law and order, right down to person in charge of transport. I've found some characters from film history that might make some good and bad choices to run the country. Let's see if you can do better.

Prime Minister
The big cheese. The man in charge. The head honcho. Numero Uno.
The Prime Minister from Love Actually, played by Hugh Grant - at least there'd be some dancing in Number 10...actually he does look a little like Cameron doesn't he?

Chancellor of the Exchequer
This role is the person responsible for all economic and financial matters of the country and looks after the budget where all the taxes are decided and announced for everyone.
Brewster from Brewster's Millions, played by Richard Pryor (in the latest version) - that depends whether you get him during the spending phase or after the film is done. One way is really good, the other is really bad.

Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs
This role is the person responsible for promoting British interests overseas and supporting British citizens and businesses around the globe.
Mr Bean from Mr. Bean's Holiday, played by Rowan Atkinson - Now what better advert for Britain than a bumbling idiot who isn't very funny? Okay, there are plenty out there then!

Secretary of State for Justice and Lord Chancellor
This role is the person responsible for the efficient functioning and independence of the courts.
Judge Dredd in...Judge Dredd, played by Sylvester Stallone - Now that would sort the country out pretty sharpish.

Lieutenant Briggs from Magnum Force, played by Hal Holbrook - he made sure that his form of justice was carried out without regard for rights or the law.

Secretary of State for the Home Department
This role is the person for immigration and passports, drugs policy, crime, counter-terrorism and police.
Derek Vinyard from American History X, played by Edward Norton - now he would not do a good job for foreign affairs.

Tony Montana from Scarface, played by Al Pacino - drugs, immigration, policing, all handled in a certain way with a chainsaw and a large automatic weapon, and perhaps a few ounces of cocaine.

Secretary of State for Defence and Secretary of State for Scotland
This role is the person responsible for making and executing the Defence policy, and with providing the means by which it is executed, that being the Armed Forces.
General W.R. Monger from Monsters vs Aliens, played by Kiefer Sutherland - What a great choice, hard, compassionate, and he'll help out his soldiers and go to any lengths to fight with them.

General 'Buck' Turgidson from Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, played by George C. Scott - If your forces are all about obliterate now and ask questions later, then this could well be your man.

Secretary of State for Health
Ben Sanderson from Leaving Las Vegas, played by Nicolas Cage - the picture of health, a self destructive alcoholic.

Withnail or Marwood from Withnail & I, played by Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant - on a similar vein to Ben, these guys wouldn't be a great advertisement for heath at all.

Dr. Benjamin Stone from Doc Hollywood, played by Michael J. Fox - don't you think our health service would be much friendlier and approachable with the warmth and attention of this doctor?

Elle Driver from Kill Bill: Vol. 1, played by Daryl Hannah - Her nurse scene may be sexy, but she's also very deadly. She'd keep waiting lists down and beds empty. Well in female wards anyway!

Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
Hannibal Lecter from any of the Hannibal films, played by Anthony Hopkins - we'd solve over population at the same time!

Lonnie from Deliverance, played by Billy Redden - It was the rural affairs bit that caught me. Banjo music in the woods is such as soothing thing.

Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills
This role is responsible for company law, trade, business growth, employment law, regional economic development, consumer law, adult learning, some parts of further education, higher education, skills, science and innovation. Wow, that's a role and a half, but there's someone that springs to mind almost immediately.
Gordon Gekko from Wall Street, played by Michael Douglas - What a character to put in charge of business. He would certainly get everyone earning money up the ladder, but I suspect just as many people losing it down the way. A long rise of money making followed by a complete loss and drain on businesses. Sounds like something we just left behind.

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions; and Secretary of State for Wales
Roy Dillon from The Grifters, played by John Cusack - work and pensions? He'd rip everyone off and con them out of theirs, ending up with a country with no money. Maybe he was working in the Chancellor's office too?

Logan from Logan's Run, played by Michael York - before he started running he was killing everyone over the age of thirty. No pensions to pay out, government saves money!

Secretary of State for Transport
Del Griffith or Neal Page from Planes, Trains and Automobiles, played by John Candy and Steve Martin - because they really know how bad it can get on public transport, or just how good it can be.

Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families
Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, played by Robert Helpmann - I would say the answer would be obvious would it not?

Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport
Robert Langdon from The Da Vinci Code, played by Tom Hanks - Well, he's very cultured and can talk with great authority about conspiracy theories that aren't there. The government would love him.

Secretary of State for Northern Ireland
Jim Malone from The Untouchables, played by Sean Connery - this is an ironic choice for sure, especially since Connery is so Scottish and really doesn't pull off the Irish part at all well. He'd cause a few angry protests I would guess.

Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skills
Lucius Fox from Batman Begins onwards, played by Morgan Freeman - I was trying to think of someone innovative, and someone who can build all Batman's gadgets and link all the mobile phones together to make some bizarre sonar device has to be right for this job.

So there are some of my choices, but can you think of better, or worse? Some of them are terrible indeed and would destroy the country, but then there are some that maybe Cameron and Clegg could do with?



What a cracking article! LOL

You got me with Hugh Grant as Prime Minister. But imagine what they could do if they were really running the country, that's entertainment!


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